“…….for I have learned to be content regardless of circumstances. I know how to get along and live humbly and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret whether well fed or hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need.”- Paul
I was sitting at work Wednesday working my little fingers away on the keyboard at 70wpm as I always do, meanwhile my brain was going 100mph. All I could think about was how I was going to pay what bill and when. I thought about how and where I would fit my son’s soccer payment in and now that my daughter wants to take a year off from dance, how I was going to fit her soccer registration in. The thoughts kept coming, it didn’t end there. Those thoughts of bills and soccer registrations were followed by overwhelming fears of not getting my credit score up. A few years ago my credit score was fantastic, so much so I was in a position to buy a house but these days, let’s just say it’s not in a casket on the ocean floor but if one more wave hits it’ll be floating under water. My mind raced with the clothes the kids need, not to mention school supplies would be coming up soon, I want to get my wedding pictures and so on and so forth.
All these thoughts going around the race track of my mind caused a feeling that at one time in my life I thought was aura’s but found out were anxiety attacks. If you don’t know I have epilepsy. What can precede a seizure is something like a warning called an aura. It usually leaves me with just enough time to say I’m getting ready to have a seizure. Three years back I was having this feeling almost everyday. I went to my neurologist and found out I was having anxiety attacks. My mind was so bothered, stressed, and overwhelmed I could barely function during the workday.
This day I knew this feeling. I could feel the anxiety coming out of my chest, going into my head and down my arms. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. When that didn’t work I got up from my desk and walked around outside a bit which helped calm me down.
On the way home from work I once again began to think about all I didn’t have and how things should be much better until something clicked in my brain. What the heck was I doing? Here I was driving home from work internally complaining and having my own personal pity party. I then made an active decision to say something, out loud, in my car that I was grateful for. I looked straight ahead, gripped the wheel and said I’m grateful for this car. I bought this car in 2012. It’s a 2012 Nissan Versa. It’s the first car I’ve ever purchased brand new; a fact I’m proud of. I’m grateful for a beautiful home I can go home to, a place of peace. When I walk through those doors, it doesn’t matter what has happened during the day, I feel like a weight lifts off. I’ve prayed for the atmosphere in my house to be peaceful like that, I’ve fought for it. I continued, I’m grateful for an upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic. No sooner than I said those words my mind went right back to the bills I needed to pay and my credit report. Like a thick black ooze worry tried to creep into my mind but I pushed it away. I said, out loud, yes I’m grateful for the opportunity to go out of the country on vacation. Yes, I have bills but everything will be paid and I’m actively working on my credit report. I’m grateful for the ability to fly my mother in to be with the children while my husband and I are gone. I’m grateful for the ability to take our children on a cruise over Christmas. I chuckled as I thought I’m grateful for soccer fees and having peace in knowing I can pay them.
My entire mood shifted on that car ride home. I walked into my house a happier me. When I get home my children always greet me as I walk through the door. Okay, okay who am I kidding they are like bees on honey as soon as I walk through the door but it didn’t bother me. I didn’t need a minute to get myself together because my demeanor shifted from one of fear and sadness on the car ride home to happiness and gratitude.
That evening we sat around as a family and we all said something we were grateful for. I explained my day to my children and stressed to them the importance of saying and being gracious.
We will all have things that go across our minds that at times cause a great deal of trepidation to over take us. We can allow those things to take us over and saturate every aspect of our day ruining any opportunity we may have for calm in our bodies or we can make the extra effort to just say, “thank you.” We can look for a reason to worry. Most people have a lot on their plates and those things do get to us at one time or another but just as we sit in somber silence we can use our voice, the power of the spoken word to verbally and with a loud voice say I’m grateful for my life. As much as we take it for granted we all have something someone else is lacking.
For me I have the ability to go out of the country, go on a cruise with my babies and husband, I have a job (even if it plucks my last reserved nerve) that allows me to work as much overtime as I’d like. I have a husband who gets home before me and cooks pretty much everyday. I have children that fill my life with hugs and kisses. I have made a vow to myself to wake up and say what I’m grateful for and lay down saying what I’m grateful for.
We should all do this. I’m confident that if we walked into any homeless shelter right now and told them our daily complaints they would look at us with such disdain for our ungrateful mentalities most of the time. I use the word of Paul as a point of reference often in my life. I want to learn have to learn to be content no matter the state I’m in.
Be grateful because you have so much to be grateful for.
nyourownwords 